Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Waiting for GodOHGODGYPSYATTACK!

Rolled in around 5:30 am and had a Mars ice cream bar. That shit's delicious. Just saying. But on my walk home, these pigeons kept coming up to me like people. That's not people, that's birds. These things don't fly, they just walk around shaking their heads erratically like they're my imaginary cousin Ray-Ray (you know, LaShawna's boy, Ray-Ray). Anyways, it's got me thinking about all these gypsies running around (file photos below),

Give me your coins, gringo, or I snatch your face!

and I think I've come to a fairly solid conclusion- they're cursing people and turning them into one of two things: flightless, human-like pigeons or babies. The pigeon thing seemed obvious at first, but the baby magic only just came to me. How brilliant an idea to take the avaricious, snobby, and obscenely wealthy members of contemporary french society (file photos below)



and turn them into money producing infants that you can use to your benefit. Perhaps this power adds a sense of relief for the gypsies as they walk down the street begging people for coins, jewels, etc. with their helpless, cursed aristocrat-children hanging off their chests getting glares from the subway patrons who are smart enough not to fall into their gypsy traps. My theory is based primarily off of a striking photo of a young Billy Dee Williams, but I feel that better arguments have been made off of worse premises, so I'll stick to what I've got for now.

It looks so harmless, but that baby used to be the CEO of Vodaphone

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